Sunday, July 17, 2011

Over the Edge

For any readers who may have ventured to this site; and possibly thought I had ‘dropped off the edge of the earth’; I very well might have. Suffice to say that most of this year has not been the most positive I have experienced. I’ve been surrounded by negatives and in a very dark place ….. everything about me is at an all time low … health deteriorating; finances depleted, spirit erased; as a matter of fact the only thing that hasn’t gone down hill are commitments; they’ve multiplied!


So, sorry!   Haven’t been able to find the spirit to write even a greeting card.

But no, I’ve not dropped off the edge; I’m close though.

I’ve been ardently trying all the ‘tricks’ to pull myself out of this mire. Planted veggies and flowers in pots on the balcony, harvested some beans; love the flowers. I always derive such joy from planting and watching the bloom of flowers. Okay, so they are doing fine … no joy!

I’ve walked and walked and walked; thought to add a positive to health issues; hasn’t done much; legs are stronger. And I’m smoking like a chimney which isn’t helping the financial end either.

Art work … I won’t even venture into those dark waters. My mind wants to paint again; I stain canvas and look at the blank.





What is this path we tread?
Where is the end, do you see?
Why here, not there,
I wonder?

Once laughter, once light!
Once challenge, once hope!
Once dreams!
I wonder?

I fear this path
To endlessly roam
Without laughter or hope
Alone!



So, I’m searching just now for positives.

4 comments:

  1. Ruby, I am so glad you are ALIVE! I have missed you and our ramblings back and forth, remembering this and that. These will be times to remember too and I hope you will be able to laugh about them. I smoke so I can't bitch about that! But here is what I do: find comedies to watch. Rent or borrow lots of silly movies, more the better, one after the other. Lots of popcorn. Concentrate, hard, on the silly in life.

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  2. That painting perfectly fits what you have written about today: walking through the bleak mist with the future ahead unclear, but with a subtle glow of hope and promise. I don't have the answers for you, only you know whats best for yourself, but know that people are out there who care about you!

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  3. Hi Ruby, I'm sorry that you are going through a 'down' period (and I'm sure it is just a 'period'). I wish I knew you well enough to be able to offer some advice. All I can suggest is that you enjoyed sketching people earlier in the year, perhaps you should try doing more of that.

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